Expectations

I've had this issue again lately. This issue with trying to break my kid of all of these "bad" habits before she turns in to the kid that everyone comments on. You know - the kid that people look at and say "why didn't her mother take that away sooner?"

I've kind of been on that kick for awhile now. Part of my problem has been reading all these baby books. It started with What to Expect When You're Expecting then went to What to Expect the First Year. Nursing Mother, Working Mother followed and so did countless Google searches and babycenter.com queries. Is this normal? Is this what every new mother does? It got so bad for awhile that Steve had to tell me to put the books down - to step away from all the "advice."

Lately, my employees have been giving me a hard time about all of this. A little insight to my work life - I'm 27 and I manage six employees. The youngest of my employees is 32, the oldest in her sixties. It's an interesting dynamic. They've all had children, some have grandchildren. So when I talk about my experiences as a new Mom I get some interesting responses. When Allyson was about six months old and couldn't stand to let me get ready in the morning without being held I commented to my team how I wished for her to be a little more independent. They teased - all in good fun cause I AM still the boss - and asked if I was sending her off to college the next week. Their comments were my first indication that I needed to calm down a bit with my expectations.

Let me take you to my dilemma. Allyson still uses a pacifier. Granted, she only uses it at night (and other rare times when we're out and she's crying for no good reason and can't stand to hear her whine - these are rare - I promise.) But she's also been growing attached to a blanket. So, I brought this up again in conversation at work as well as at a get together with my girl friends. At work, I expected the "Geez Becky - do you want her to be signing peace treaties at two or what?" With my friends I expected a little bit more support. Well - I was strongly mistaken.

"She's only a year old"

"She only uses the binky at night, that's okay"

"It's good for them to be attached to something at this age"

"Relax Becks, she's totally normal"

I don't know what my issue is. I fear that I'm going to have this kid that all the other parents are going to look at and roll their eyes. You know the one. The one that brings her "blankie" to kindergarten with her. The one that still has a pacifier out to dinner at 5. Maybe my Mom set some pretty high expectations - I want to raise Allyson like I was raised - I think I turned out okay. (Aside from that whole "other Becky" stage when I was lost in Arizona.) Maybe I know that when I see "that" kid I will say to myself "why didn't her mother..." I don't know. I find myself wishing that there was a textbook that could tell me all the "right" ways to raise a healthy, intelligent, kind and respectful little girl. I just have to hope that I've got it in me (along with Steve of course) to raise her right and be proud of her no matter what traits she might end up with. I hope, I hope I hope...

~Becky