Being a Mom - The Hard Stuff Part 1

Feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Work is pretty stressful right now. Doing some things I’ve never done before. They’re good things, just stuff I’m not so confident about. I know I’ll look back on this time and say “wow – I learned a heck of a lot” but for now I’m left feeling a little out of my element. More on that another time…

Allyson is pushing my buttons. She has a stubborn streak in her that tries my every ounce of patience. Granted, she’s a girl that definitely knows what she wants and I’m incredibly proud of that. But when it comes down to the “no’s” and “I don’t want to’s” I just want to explode. I’m sure this is just a phase that Mommy has to win, but in a family where spanking is not an option, I’m having to come up with new and creative ideas to win these battles. Shouting doesn’t work, timeouts rarely work…harrumph. We manage, but some nights it’s early to bed without dinner because the battle is just one I’m not willing to lose.

Those nights are the worst because my heart aches when she’s sad. When I finally get through that stubborn-ness and show her how disappointed or unhappy she makes me by acting out, I know that she finally got it. But when it actually does get through, those puppy dog eyes sad faces and tears just make me feel worse. It’s truly, and Mom and Dad – sorry I made you feel this way because I know I did, harder on me than it is on her.

What I am making extra effort in doing is doling out the hugs and kisses. I try to devote a little extra time to her in the evenings, especially when Andrew goes to bed. I’ll go lay with her and watch one of her shows or, as was the case last night, cuddle with her on the couch while watching The Sing Off and Dancing with the Stars.

Those are the best times because there is no battle. There’s no yelling, there’s no punishment. Just me and my girl. Cuddled up under the blanket. I only hope that as we get through this phase – or whatever it is –that there’s more of this and less of the other stuff. These are the years where she’s really starting to form life long memories and I really (really really) want them to be good ones.

~Becky