31 Things: Days 12 and 13

After a brief absence that included a dance recital, wine tasting in Amador, a couple of parties here at the house and a trip to Reno (hopefully some posts to come with those events), I am back in the land of the blog. Up today are stories number 12 and 13. Watch for placing all the blame on my parents in number 13 and now that I think back on number 12 – I could probably edit it a bit more. The TV watching (aside from kid shows) is at about zero. Maybe I’ll just leave it as is because I do wish I had some extra time to zone out in front of the TV, but lately, if I have some spare minutes, my face is buried in my book and not in front of the Samsung.

Story 12: Watch

TV watching, like many other things, most specifically private time in the restroom and long, luxurious baths, went out the window once I had children. Well, not since I had children, but since I had a child that is old enough to look at the TV and say, “Mom! What is that blood?”

I love dead shows. I used to, and up until recently, watch every iteration of CSI, Law and Order, NCIS, Bones, etc. (notice the pattern?) About a year ago Allyson started paying attention to what Steve and I had on TV. That relegated TV watching to times when she had gone to bed or was napping. As time went on, and the DVR got more and more full, I realized that I just didn’t have the time I used to to sit and watch all that TV. Now it’s more Disney, Food Network and the quick ½ hour shows that we can watch with the kiddos awake. It’s probably for the best, less time in front of the TV means more time up and about. More time seeing what the kiddos are getting into and just “being” with them. It means more time for books at night and better, restful mornings.

I have found that I don’t miss it much. Sitting in front of a computer all day makes me not want to sit in front of any glowing thing at night. I love to read and listen to music and I feel that it’s important for both my children to see me doing that. Andrew LOVES a good song, and now that Ally is back into dance class, she’s pirouetting all over the place. She sings loudly to songs (and not just the kid ones) that she knows - this makes my eyes well up for some reason. All of these things would be lacking in our lives if we plopped down in front of the TV every free opportunity.

Even with all that, we probably watch too much. I am completely guilty of turning on a Disney show to get this or that accomplished around the house. I admitted in a previous post that I love me some Jeopardy. I am encouraged to see, however, that most of the time my kids don’t make it through one show. Halfway in, they’re bouncing around and moving on to the next great event or disaster in the making. 

So, I watch. I watch a little TV every now and then. I let my kids snuggle up with me and watch TV. More importantly, I watch myself to make sure we don’t end up completely dependent upon the TV. I watch to make sure that we’re getting outside and soaking up that wonderful California sunshine. I watch to make sure that we’re balancing the reading and singing and dancing with the TV time. But most importantly, I watch my little family grow up around me and make sure that I am “there” and not zoned out in front of some mind numbing program. These are the memory making days and I’d much rather those be out in our backyard than in front of the latest episode of Sponge Bob. 

Story 13: Chores

I never had to do chores growing up. My Mom cleaned my room, did my laundry, picked up the house. She did everything. When she went back to work when I was in elementary school I remember having house cleaners but she was still the one that did everything around the house to keep it tidy. That being said, my room was always a disaster. So when the house cleaners would come, they’d make my bed and then pick all my crap up off the floor and place it on the bed to “clean” the rest of the room. Ridiculous, right?

So, Mom. I’m sorry for that. Thank goodness we had a two-story house and you could hide the disaster that was my room from any company we might have had. You should have kicked me in the ass and made me clean it up. And now you are getting your revenge.

Today. I am faced with a house that I am in charge of keeping neat and tidy. And I hate house work. And Steve, although he’s kind of a neat freak and is very particular about many things, is not a house cleaner either. He grew up in a house with a Mom that did not work most of the time her boys were in school, so she did everything for him. No housework for Mr. Carroll either. Then, Steve moved from his Mom’s house to his wife’s house. We got to a point in our lives, early on in our marriage, where we fought about house work. What? Fights about this? No way Jose. We had to find another way.

I know that many would think that we took the easy way out and that we may just be, bottom line, lazy but we did what we had to do. We hired a house cleaner. She visits us every two weeks and does all the deep cleaning. You know what? Steve and I stopped fighting about the housework. We still have dishes and laundry and picking up to do on a daily basis, but cleaning toilets, mopping floors and dusting blinds is all taken care of. Sure – we have to pay for it. But we both work 40 hour a week jobs and decided that is was worth the cash to be able to come home and play with the kids in the backyard and take trips to Grandma’s house on the weekends rather than worry about when the baseboards were last scrubbed.

I still fight my inner slob to make sure that the kitchen counters are uncluttered and the dishwasher is running. I fight against my disdain for laundry and all that makes it my own personal torture. But I know that I need to be thankful to able to afford to have someone come in and help us out.

My struggle now is helping Allyson to know what chores look like. She’s going to grow up as I did, and have someone do much of the hard stuff for her. But unlike my Mom did for me (sorry Mom – you are wonderful at so many things, but making your kids do chores you were not-so-good at), she needs to learn to do some of this. She’s four years old, so I wonder what she can tackle at this age. We already battle about leaving her shoes all over the floor (I’m a culprit too) and putting things away when she’s done with them (again – guilty.) So I have to try harder. I have to try harder to set a good example for her. To hold her to responsibilities that are hers to keep. And to make sure that she knows that even though we may have some help, it is our responsibility to keep our things nice and have a home that we’re proud to invite people over to. Easier said than done.   

~Becky