What WAH means to me...

Growing up I never imagined I'd be a mom. It was never really one of those things I always hoped and dreamed to be. I wanted a good job and maybe a husband - just maybe.

Then I met and married Steve and things changed. Having a family started to creep into my head slowly and then one day I woke up and realized that my decision was made. I wanted to be a mom.

But I wanted to work too. I could never see myself as a stay-at-home mom. I'm too career oriented. I don't love kids all that much and I have WAY too much of my own mother in me. But even she will say "it's different when they're your own." She stayed home with my brother and I for six years and then went back to work because we drove her nuts. Okay - maybe not nuts, but she would say that she craved adult conversation and even her brilliant (ya - I said brilliant) kiddos just weren't cutting it.

I knew that this would be the case with me. So, when Steve and I got pregnant I knew that I'd never be a stay at home. Not because of the money but because I knew I'd be a much happier wife, mother, person if I could leave and go into work each day. Some may call me selfish or even wrong for desiring to leave my child but I say that it is 2009, women have been working out of the home successfully for 50 years.

With all that said, once that little thing started growing inside me all those motherly instincts started to wash over me. Damn hormones. Anyways...five days a week, eight to ten hours away and all that time spent in daycare crept up. Even more so since when I came back from maternity leave I was starting in a new managerial role and knew that I would get busier and busier.

So I had to come up with a better solution. And working from home was it. I knew I wouldn't be able to WAH every day. I had six (now nine) new employees to manage and needed to be in the office for that. But I felt I could swing one day a week to be at home with my little peanut and still be a good manager/employee at the same time.

Here we are over a year later. I'm still working with my employees to understand that I am just as reachable at home as if I were in the office - IM, email, phone, etc. But I feel good about it. Most of the time I get so much more accomplished. Like clearing out that darn email box and using nap time to focus on the more difficult stuff. WAH on Fridays helps alleviate the Mommy Guilt (man that stuff is bad) a little bit and helps me maintain my sanity (I can only sing Itsy Bitsy Spider so many times - God bless daycare providers.) I'm blessed to have a boss that was willing to work with me and allow me such flexibility.

So...here's a little glimpse into one of my WAH Fridays (plus I really needed to put some new pics of Allyson up.)

I've discovered that I can get the kiddo to smile by asking her to show me her teeth. Hey - I'll take the cheesy grin.



A couple shots of Ally in the backyard. It's been a gorgeous day in sunny Sacramento.



Yeah, she's doing what you think she's doing...

And my backyard "office." Laptop, Blackberry and Diet Coke. Gotta love WAH Fridays!

~Becky

Girlfriends...

I’ve never really been a girl’s girl. I had one really good childhood friend. She lived next door and made it pretty convenient to be her friend. We were inseparable for about the first 10 years of our lives. It got tough the further along we got in school because I was a grade ahead of her. After that I’ve just flitted through life with a few girl friends here and there. But very few that have actually stuck.

High school was okay. I met my best friend in high school but we’re closer now than we were then. I had one friend that I would have thought would have been a “lifer” but we had a falling out a few (wow, actually about seven) years ago and haven’t spoken since. That disaster makes me sad to think back upon – but life’s what happens…

Until I got to my twenties. Yeah – my twenties. And even then I bounced back and forth between life in the Bay Area and life away at school in Arizona until I finally settled up here in Sacramento. There were some rough roads along that path and I’ve been lucky enough to have some friends that have weathered the drama that was “the other Becky.”

But I realized the other day that it’s not really about the number of friends you have or how long you’ve known them. It’s about realizing that you have those people in your life that you may not talk to every day but that you know would drop everything if you needed them too. It’s knowing that there are some people that come into your life and make such an impression that they stick around. You may not see them every day (or even once a month) but when you think “I wonder what she’s doing today” you can pick up the phone (or send a text or a facebook message - God love the 21st century) and pick up right where you left off.


So – I send an electronic HUG to all my girls. From my best friend and partner in crime to the girlies I see yearly and all those in between - I love you and I thank goodness I can call you a real friend.

Enough sappy sap from me. (I’ll blame the sappiness on motherhood.)

~Becky

Do dogs go to heaven?

This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a Southern US town, between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church, and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church.

From top to bottom these pictures show you the response and counter-response over time. The Catholics are displaying a much better sense of humor! You get the impression that the Presbyterians are actually taking this seriously and are getting a bit upset...


So, being the heathen dog-lover I am I'm surprised to actually say that I'm going with the Catholics in this one. Score one for the Pope in my book!

~Becky

Happy Tuesday!

No glorious blog post today. Just a funny pic I got in my email.

Title: Flasher

Hope you have a great day!

~Becky

Camping - it does the body good

Last weekend my family made our annual camping trip to the coast. The trip was up in the air all the previous week due to rain in the forecast, but come Tuesday morning we got the all clear and packed up our stuff.

This trip means the world to me. I've been going on it every year, to the same place, since I was 5 months old. My parents camped here years before I was even born. It started as a work thing - a group of people my Dad worked with began going to Van Damme State Park, just outside Mendocino, for fun, friends, tasty adult beverages and a big Abalone cook off. (More on abalone later.) When I came along, I just got to join in the fun.

So, this camping trip holds many memories for me. Memories that I've really looked forward to sharing with my own children. Unfortunately we were unable to go last year - just WAY too much going on between my brother's wedding, me in a new job and the fact that Allyson was so little (even though we totally could have managed). I was pretty devastated those few times we had to cancel. Imagine my disappointment when I kept seeing rain in the forecast for last weekend's trip.

But we were ultimately successful and on our way. We packed up our stuff and headed out for the four hour drive to Mendocino.

I'll admit I was a bit nervous about a four hour drive with a toddler. Would she get car sick like her father is notorious for? Would she scream after the first two hours? Would it take us twice as long because we had to let the kiddo out to run around? We just had to wait and see.

We timed our departure with Allyson's nap time figuring we could get on the road and let her sleep. Here's a shot of what she looked like for about the first two hours.

She was pretty good for the rest of the way too. At about hour 3.5 she got pretty restless. We had to stop, change her and feed her lunch before we finished those last few miles to the campsite.

Here's a pic of Steve and my father-in-law Bruce setting up our tent. We bought a new tent this year because there was no way we could have added the pack'n'play into our old one and have any room for the pups and all our stuff. Tents these days are pretty awesome. These two had the tent up in no time.

Next item on the agenda was really just setting up the bar and food for dinner and commencing the hanging out that would take place over the course of the next three days. We arrived on a Thursday and had the group site at Van Damme until Sunday morning.

Here's a few shots of Allyson in the kiddo size camping chair my grandparents got for her. There must have been high speed cameras used here because the child would only sit in this thing for seconds.

Now let me take a moment to explain, for those of you who don't know, what the heck abalone is and why we make this trip up north every year just to have it.

Abalone is a large sea snail essentially. The meat of the abalone is considered a delicacy and has led to many years of over-farming. Due to this, abalone harvesting is strictly monitored in the US by the Department of Fish and Game. To "fish" for abalone you must have a fishing license and abalone stamp card. Each abalone picked must be larger than seven inches across the shell and each diver has a limit of three abalone per day or 24 per year max. Abalone must also be picked using a snorkel and breath-holding techniques or from the shore. Scuba diving for abalone is strictly prohibited.

My dad and brother are the abalone divers. I've been meaning to get out there and dive with them but I wasn't real interested in braving the frigid ocean when I was younger and these last few times I was either pregnant or chasing around a toddler. Maybe next year I'll join them out in the water.

Here's a shot of Dad and Matt heading out for their abalone dive. It was a gorgeous day last Friday. This beach is literally across the street (okay Highway 1's two lanes) from the campground.

This is what a fresh picked abalone looks like. (Caution - you could think this a little gross).

First things first. You've got to pry the abalone from it's shell. They're using special ab-irons. They also use these under water to pry the abalone's off the rocks they're suctioned too. For years my Dad told me he had a whistle he would blow (under water - yes - I was little and naive) and all the abalone would un-suck themselves from the rocks. I know now it's hard work to get these suckers off the rocks - all while holding your breath 15 to 20 feet beneath the surface in frigid Northern California waters.

This is what the abalone shell looks like once the mussel has been taken out. You can find tons of abalone jewelry in little shops in Mendocino. The stuff is really beautiful.

Then you have to whack the stuff out of them to loosen up the mussel. If not, when you slice and serve them it's just like eating tire rubber. Should you ever have the opportunity to have abalone - try it. The stuff is awesome!

Enough of the ab-talk. here are some more shots from the weekend.

Steve and Allyson sticking their tongues. Steve's really going to regret ever teaching her this one.

Allyson, Matt, Kirby and I goofing off around the campfire one evening.

Here's a sweet picture of Allyson and her Poppa G (my grandpa) blowing bubbles. I love that he calls her his "little buddy."

Kiddo sitting in the flowers. I can't believe Steve actually got a picture with a smile on this kids face.

More shots around the campfire...

This one is from Saturday night after a few margaritas and with Dad playing Irish drinking songs off his iPod. Kirby, Dad and I were singing, dancing and taking shots out of about a $60 bottle of aged Scotch. HA! Fun times.

All in all we had a fantastic time. We played Yahtzee, Scrabble, Cornhole...ate...drank...napped around the fire.

This last picture means a lot to me. There's a picture of me and my Dad in front of this sign from about - oh - 27 years ago. Now we have one of all three of us. I love it!

Hope you enjoyed.

~Becky

When was the last time you dyed eggs?

Last weekend we celebrated Easter at the Carroll home. We celebrated in the heathen don't-go-to-church-just-watch-The-Ten-Commandments way of celebrating Easter. You know. The ham-eating, bunny trap setting, chocolate rabbit commercial version. This year we had a child old enough to be more than a cute little thing in a pink dress in a bouncy seat and felt that we needed to get on the parental holiday bandwagon and get Easter-y!

So we started with the dying of the eggs. As usual, I started out doing it and Steve took over. No biggie. The guy pretends he doesn't like doing this "family" kind of stuff and then gets all into it. Have I mentioned that Steve's a perfectionist? Better to let him do his thing. Allyson and I went and played in the backyard. Anyways...here was the process.

1. Bowl of beautifully hard boiled eggs (HA! More on this later)

2. Six glasses of dye tablets, three teaspoons vinegar and 1/2 cup water. We wanted the eggs extra dark colors.

3. Eggs left to dry.

4. Final products. Aren't they great?

So that was Saturday. Here are some pics from our Easter Sunday at my in-laws house. Thankfully my parents and Steve's parents get along famously so we get to spend a lot holidays together. I realize how blessed we really are.

This one is of my mother-in-law and Allyson. Allyson - always in mid "sentence."

This next one is Allyson and her Great Mummum, my mom's mom. Mummum's showing her a special locket.

Now my mom and Allyson. I think my mom just said "you jump in that pool and make me go in after you and you're in big trouble little girl." Haha...my mom adores Chickie. Of course - how could you not? Wait til you see the shot after this one.

I should probably mention that I volunteered to make the deviled eggs. Ya...won't be doing that again. I swear I followed the directions in my Better Homes & Gardens cookbook but they were awful! The shells wouldn't come off the whites. There were tiny cracks the dye seeped through. Take a look at the awfulness.

Anyone have any idea what I did wrong? Any tips for hard boiling a dozen and a half eggs for next year?

So that was the Carroll family Easter. I would have posted the video of Allyson going egg hunting but I can't find the USB to hook the video camera up to the computer. Maybe I can get that uploaded another time. It's pretty cute.

See ya on the flip side.

~B

WTF?

Saw this article on my daily peruse of CNN and was a little shocked at the content. Is this really the world I want to raise my daughter in? Do I have a choice? This lady is f*cking nuts!

Mom's plea deal includes 'resurrection clause'
By Ashley Broughton - CNN

A Maryland woman involved with a group described as a religious cult pleaded guilty in the starvation death of her son, but insisted that the charges be dropped when he is resurrected.

The condition was made a part of Ria Ramkissoon's plea agreement, officials said. She entered the plea Monday in Baltimore, Maryland, to a first-degree felony count of child abuse resulting in death, her attorney, Steven Silverman, said Tuesday.

Ramkissoon, a member of a group called One Mind Ministries, believes Javon Thompson, her year-old son, will rise again, and as part of her plea agreement, authorities agreed to the clause.

"She certainly recognizes that her omissions caused the death of her son," Silverman said. "To this day, she believes it was God's will and he will be resurrected and this will all take care of itself. She realizes if she's wrong, then everyone has to take responsibility ... and if she's wrong, then she's a failure as a mother and the worst thing imaginable has happened. I don't think that, mentally, she's ready to accept that."

Under the plea agreement, Ramkissoon, 22, must testify against four other One Mind Ministries members who are also facing charges, including first-degree murder, in Javon's death. At her sentencing, set for August, she will receive a 20-year sentence, which will be suspended except for the time she has already served behind bars, Silverman said. She must also undergo deprogramming and psychiatric counseling.

In court Monday, it was clarified that the "resurrection clause" would apply only in the case of Javon's actual resurrection -- not a perceived reincarnation, Silverman said.

"This has never come up in the history of American law, as far as I've seen," Silverman said, adding that the clause was "very important to her."

"On one level, she certainly is competent to stand trial, because she does recognize that as far as her legal entanglements are concerned, this is a grand-slam resolution for her," Silverman said.

"On the other hand, she's still brainwashed, she's still delusional as far as the teachings and influence of this cult, and she certainly is going to benefit with professional help and deprogramming."

Ramkissoon and the others are accused of denying Javon food after the group's leader, a 40-year-old woman who goes by the name Queen Antoinette, decreed the boy was a demon since he refused to say "amen" after meals, Silverman said.

"Ria would cling to him every day and try to get him to say 'amen,' " Silverman said. Eventually, Queen Antoinette ordered that Ramkissoon be separated from the child, he said.

Javon is believed to have died in December 2006, court documents allege. Following his death, the group members put the boy's body in a back room, and "everyone was directed to come in and pray," according to the documents. "The Queen told everyone that 'God was going to raise Javon from the dead.' Javon remained in the room for an extended period of time (in excess of one week). The resurrection never took place."

Authorities believe the boy's body was then placed into a wheeled suitcase along with mothballs and fabric-softener sheets, documents said. Prosecutors allege Antoinette opened the suitcase periodically and sprayed its interior with Lysol to mask the decomposition odor.

The group then moved to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and befriended a man who agreed to take care of their luggage before they left, documents said. The body was found in April 2008, still inside the suitcase, in the man's storage shed.

All five One Mind Ministries members were set to stand trial Monday. The case against the others has been postponed, Silverman said, as Antoinette and another woman lack attorneys and must either obtain one or waive their right to counsel. Silverman added that Antoinette has suggested, though not said outright, that God is representing her.

Court documents say Ramkissoon joined One Mind Ministries after Javon's birth in 2005. Silverman described her as a petite, soft-spoken woman who rejected her family's Hindu religion, became a devout Christian and wanted to raise her son in that religion. "She didn't want to have to work or go to school. She just wanted to take care of her son, and they offered her all this," he said.

The group insisted she wear a uniform the colors of royalty: white, tan and blue; give up her cell phone; stop referring to her family members by name; and not leave her home on her own, among other things, he said. "They really isolated her, brainwashed her, and you see what happened."

Ramkissoon's mother, Seeta Khadan Newton, notified various agencies that her grandson was missing after she traveled to New York City in February 2008 to
find her daughter, court documents said. Newton told authorities that when she spoke to Ramkissoon and asked about Javon, her daughter replied, "He's gone. He's lost," but gave no further information.

Silverman said he realized right away after consulting with Ramkissoon that he needed to communicate her story to the public and to prosecutors.

"Once you get to understanding the story, understanding what Ria went through, and her intentions ... it becomes quite clear that Ria, although many may not think her hands are clean, a reasonable, rational person would have some sympathy."

Sympathy? I don't think so. This lady needs to rot in a jail cell. The poor kid never asked to be part of this cult. ARG - this kind of thing makes me so mad. And the fact that she gets off time served if she testifies against the other loonies? There is no justice for her son.

I'll give them the fact that the plea agreement is humorous but the fact that this lady killed her son is not. God help us all.

~Becky