Tagged by the Self Portrait

I got Self Portrait tagged which means that I've been asked to take a picture of myself immediately. Without fixing the hair or putting on any makeup. Just me. Camera. Blog. Just peachy. And I don't have the "oohh...I'm a new mother of twins excuse." (Lindsay - just kidding - you look GREAT!)

But I'll gladly accept the challenge. This is me on a Sunday morning. Chickie's taking a nap and Steve and I are cleaning and re-organizing our bedroom. No make-up, no hair, Harley Davidson t-shirt...this is me.

I would have much rather posted a picture from dinner last night. Those are for another day I guess. Damn you Lindsay!

~Becky

Expectations

I've had this issue again lately. This issue with trying to break my kid of all of these "bad" habits before she turns in to the kid that everyone comments on. You know - the kid that people look at and say "why didn't her mother take that away sooner?"

I've kind of been on that kick for awhile now. Part of my problem has been reading all these baby books. It started with What to Expect When You're Expecting then went to What to Expect the First Year. Nursing Mother, Working Mother followed and so did countless Google searches and babycenter.com queries. Is this normal? Is this what every new mother does? It got so bad for awhile that Steve had to tell me to put the books down - to step away from all the "advice."

Lately, my employees have been giving me a hard time about all of this. A little insight to my work life - I'm 27 and I manage six employees. The youngest of my employees is 32, the oldest in her sixties. It's an interesting dynamic. They've all had children, some have grandchildren. So when I talk about my experiences as a new Mom I get some interesting responses. When Allyson was about six months old and couldn't stand to let me get ready in the morning without being held I commented to my team how I wished for her to be a little more independent. They teased - all in good fun cause I AM still the boss - and asked if I was sending her off to college the next week. Their comments were my first indication that I needed to calm down a bit with my expectations.

Let me take you to my dilemma. Allyson still uses a pacifier. Granted, she only uses it at night (and other rare times when we're out and she's crying for no good reason and can't stand to hear her whine - these are rare - I promise.) But she's also been growing attached to a blanket. So, I brought this up again in conversation at work as well as at a get together with my girl friends. At work, I expected the "Geez Becky - do you want her to be signing peace treaties at two or what?" With my friends I expected a little bit more support. Well - I was strongly mistaken.

"She's only a year old"

"She only uses the binky at night, that's okay"

"It's good for them to be attached to something at this age"

"Relax Becks, she's totally normal"

I don't know what my issue is. I fear that I'm going to have this kid that all the other parents are going to look at and roll their eyes. You know the one. The one that brings her "blankie" to kindergarten with her. The one that still has a pacifier out to dinner at 5. Maybe my Mom set some pretty high expectations - I want to raise Allyson like I was raised - I think I turned out okay. (Aside from that whole "other Becky" stage when I was lost in Arizona.) Maybe I know that when I see "that" kid I will say to myself "why didn't her mother..." I don't know. I find myself wishing that there was a textbook that could tell me all the "right" ways to raise a healthy, intelligent, kind and respectful little girl. I just have to hope that I've got it in me (along with Steve of course) to raise her right and be proud of her no matter what traits she might end up with. I hope, I hope I hope...

~Becky

Mandolin Rain

Ever since my future sister-in-law Morgan made us watch American Idol at my in-laws house last night I have not been able to get this song out of my head. The video really sucks but the song is great. Really takes me back to my childhood. Who remembers K101 in the 80s? Aahh...great 80s soft rock - I love it.

~Becky

Isn't she cute?

It's been a crazy week at work (again) so I haven't had much time to think up any glorious blog post. Instead I choose to brag about my cute kiddo. Here are a few pics. Hope you enjoy!

This first picture is a shot of the kiddo in her high chair. She sits like this at every meal. Always has her cute little feet tucked up under the tray.

These next two I captured are examples of a pretty typical day at the Carroll home. Allyson LOVES her books. So much so, as you can see, that she's taken to sitting and reading them by herself as well as bringing them for Mommy and Daddy to read.

Today's choice: Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?

I'll work on something for next time. Until then...

Later...

~Becky

Think before...

Something happened over the weekend that made me really think. A very good friend of mine was arrested for a DUI. Without going into the gory details, I have to say that hearing the news shook me to my core. It shook me because I didn’t know what to think.

First, of course, I worried that she was okay. When I first heard she had just been arrested and was on her way to booking I could only imagine. The only time I ever rode in the back of a cop car was for, ironically, a journalism field trip we took to the San Jose Police Station for the Sober Graduation articles we were writing. I imagined the mug shot and the “drunk tank.” All horrifically playing out in my mind.

Second, I got mad. But this emotion didn’t last very long. I definitely didn’t think “how could she do this?” I didn’t think it because that would have been a pot and kettle hypocrisy. I’ve been there. Before I got pregnant I quit drinking for a year because I was imbibing a little too much. Now, it was mostly at home or at a friend’s house and my husband was my DD, but I KNOW there were times when I drove and I shouldn’t have.

Third, I got empathetic. Does she need someone to talk to about making the decision to quit drinking? Does she need someone to tell her that she’s not a bad Mom? Does she need someone to tell her that she made a horrible mistake and that I’m here to help her get through it? This is the route I’m looking to take right now. I haven’t talked to her over the phone. I know a couple of other friends have. We’ve exchanged text messages but I haven’t heard her story. I don’t know that it matters. All I, as her friend, want to do from this point is help her to get through this. She needs friends and I am ready and willing to be there.

So…hug your hunny and your kiddos tonight. Think hard about having that drink and putting the keys in the ignition. I know that this has (for lack of a better term) sobered me and I’ll make better decisions knowing it could happen to anyone.

~Becky

Allyson's ER Trip

Awhile back I promised pictures of Allyson's trip to the emergency room. For someone fairly technically adept I couldn't figure out how to get the pictures off my cell phone. No - I'm not in the Blackberry family and don't have email or internet access on my phone. That stuff is outrageous! (But a big thanks goes out to Uncle Matt for getting these off my phone and then emailing them to me!)

Anyway...here's the damage. This first picture is what it looked like before. The bleeding had stopped and she was not real affected by the gash in her noggin.

Next is a picture of this bandage she had wrapped around her head. (Makes me think she should be playing the flute and walking next to someone limping and playing the drum.) The gauze on her forehead had a numbing solution on it. Once we got her to quit trying to rip it off she was actually a pretty happy girl. We distrated her with Teddy Grahams and juice. See the stuffed animal lying there next to her? This nice lady volunteer brought that in for her to hold on to during this ordeal. It was SO sweet. I meant to write a nice thank you note to the volunteers at the Sutter Roseville ER but I totally forgot. I guess I can do it now. :-)

This last one is of the actual gluing. When we first came in the doc said it looked like it needed stitches but after it was numbed and he was able to manipulate it he determined that it was a clean cut and glue would work just dandy. You can't see in the picture below but my kid was grinning and talking to the doctor and the three nurses. I think she just liked the attention and was oblivious to the fact that we were holding her down to glue her head back together.

So...as far as ER visits go this one was uneventful. I hope that this will be our one and only trip to the ER. But this kid is like her Daddy and Uncle Matt - fearless...so we'll see.

~Becky

Freak me

Steve and I love the show Psych on USA. At the end of every show the two main characters are involved in a "Psych-out." (it's really just an outtake.) This particular "psych-out" had us laughing hysterically and rewinding and replaying over and over again. I can't get the song out of my head now. Hi-larious! (I apologize for the quality - I couldn't find a better version.)

Tell me you love it as much as I did!

~Becky