Project Life

I've been really getting into this world of digital scrapbooking lately. It's all, of course, thanks to my friend Lindsay and her influence (guidance/teaching/whatever.) I started out being pretty unsure of the process.  I felt a little silly about "scrapbooking." 

But then I really started to think about it. I started something called Project Life in the beginning of the year and am really (really) liking it.   

Project Life is all about capturing the everyday. It's about doing something with that giant box of pictures sitting in your hall closet. It's about unloading all the pictures from your camera's memory card and actually doing something with them. It's about taking the pictures that don't make "the wall", combining them with some journaling and some cute accents and making something your family can look at and remember. Project Life is designed to be done everyday - but there was no chance in hell I had time for that. But see, that's the other cool thing about it. You don't HAVE to do it everyday. You do it when the feeling strikes you. It's NO PRESSURE!


Scrapbooking, for me, is not about cute paper, silly stickers and your favorite acid-free glue.  Don't get me wrong, I totally see the lure in all that, it's just not for me. While you can do this traditionally - and by that I mean , paper, pens, stickers, etc - I chose to go another route and do it all digitally (but still have all the cute stuff, mind you). 

Here's what it means for me:

1. It is all digital (it really speaks to the geek in me). Here's where you can get all the digital Project Life kits.
2. It is calming and relaxing, it gives me an outlet for creativity.
3. I can sit at my computer, have a glass of wine, and just drag and drop.
4. I've always loved to write - and would love to get better at it. This gives me an outlet for writing. I can use Project Life to journal and tell the stories of our life.
5. Doing it digitally means I can print out copies for myself and both my children when the year is over. Do it once - print it as many times as I want. Sweet!
6. My husband thinks it's pretty cool. (Wha-wha?!?! Yup - he loves the idea and has been completely supportive.)

From time to time, I'll post some of my Project Life layouts here. I'm embarking on a project called 31 Things  that I'll share some of as well. 


My least fun tendencies continue - now into the world of digital scrapbooking. Eh. I'm okay with it. At least I'll have something to show for those tendencies. A beautiful book that tells our story. Something that can be looked at years (maybe even decades from now). That's just pretty cool.

~Becky

Andrew Lane - 18 months

Dear Andrew Lane-

Today you are eighteen months old. You came into our lives, originally by complete surprise, a year and a half ago and changed it for the better.  I love everything about you, Little Man. I love your big brown eyes, your long lashes, your chubby cheeks and your handsomely devilish grin. I love your chubby feet and your strong hands. Here’s a sneak peek into what makes YOU YOU right now in your life.

You usually wake up around 7:00 AM. Some days you wake up happy and refreshed. Other days you cannot wait until someone comes in to rescue you from your crib. When we walk in to find all your loveys, binkies and blankets on the floor (because you have chucked them out of your crib) we know you’re ready to get up. You are such a good sleeper it makes sense that you want out. You know when sleep time is and when you’re done you know it’s time to play!

You are happiest with a belly full of milk right when you wake up. Breakfast can come a bit later, but milk is what you want first thing in the morning. You play and toddle around then house (on the days we get to stay home) or get dressed and heads off to daycare on the days when Mommy and Daddy have to work.

Right now you’re still taking two naps.  You like to think that you only need one, but around 11:00 you start getting cranky and need a little ½ hour to hour snooze to freshen you up. When the Whiny Man comes out, we know it’s time for you to take a little rest.

After having battled a double ear infection and pneumonia, you are finally healthy. You DID NOT enjoy your last round of antibiotics, but Daddy and I knew that you needed them to make sure that you stayed healthy. You have, by far more than your sister, scared me when it comes to your health. You have battled RSV and now asthma. Colds hit you so hard and your little body just can’t keep up. It breaks my heart to see you unwell, but know, my Little Man, that your Daddy and I do everything we can, including extra cuddles and kisses, to make you better again.

You usually hammer your lunch. Since your recent sicknesses, your appetite has returned. You eat pretty much whatever we put in front of you and let us know you’re done by throwing anything leftover onto the floor for the dogs. We’re struggling with scolding you because you don’t seem to really “get it.” The big smile on your face and adorable giggle melts both of us and it’s hard to stay mad at that.

I’ll admit I’m a bit concerned that you’re not talking much. You point and laugh. You can follow simple instructions and you can even put together puzzles! But no words yet. I think you’ll probably just start talking one day and then we won’t be able to get you to shut up, but for now you’re just taking it all in and staying silent (except for the occasional “dee!”) I’ll ask the doc next week when we go for your check-up, but I’m sure she’ll just tell me to relax and that you’ll talk in your own time. Fingers crossed on this one.

People constantly comment about how good you are. You smile when people talk to you, you sit still when you’re supposed to and you just exude happiness. When your Daddy took you for a haircut last weekend, Hunter (your barber) said that you’re a better client than most of his adults. You sat still while he spiffed you up and looked SO cute once you were done. My Little Man – such a gentleman!

All in all, kid, you’re just plain wonderful. You fill our lives, and look so stinkin’ cute doing it. You melt my heart when you rest your head on my shoulders, you drive me crazy when you whine for me to hold when I’m “just trying to get one more thing done” and bring me such pure joy to hear your belly giggle and watch you clap your hands in delight. You’ll change the world for the better, Andrew Lane. I’m just happy that, for now, I get to call you mine.

Love,

Mom

When they really worry you

Today I felt a little like a new Mom.  A little scared, a little nervous and a little intimidated.  Let me back up.

I don't have sick children.  I have strong, healthy, never sick kids.  I pride myself on this fact.  Don't know if it has to do with breastfeeding them as long as I could, strong genes or just a healthy environment.  Whatever it has been it has worked...until recently.

For close family and friends, I am not talking about the stomach virus that the Carroll Family seemed to pass around to the greater Sacramento area - I swear, it was like the movie Outbreak and we were Monkey #A.  No, I'm talking about the cold that Little Man cannot shake.  Pictured at your left, he's a happy, healthy little crazy kid.  (Seriously, I am on my feet chasing after him ten times more than I ever chased his sister.)  Not even a cold will keep him down, but for some reason, whatever he's got going on will just not go away.  


It started about three weeks ago.  (Well, actually, it started about a year ago, but more on that later.)  He woke up in the middle of the night barking like a seal.  It was croup.  Have you ever heard a child with croup cough?  It sounds awful.  Here's a sample.  He also was struggling a little bit with stridor.  I call it Darth Vader breathing.  Here's what that sounds like.  Both are pretty scary if you haven't encountered them before.  I knew that steaming up the bathroom, taking him out in to the cool air and turning the humidifier on would help, and also knew that his symptoms weren't severe enough to call for an ER visit, so we just managed it at home that night.  


My biggest concern was that he might have RSV again.  RSV was what put him in the hospital last February, and I sure didn't want to go down that route again.  So..a doctor's visit that afternoon cleared up my concerns.  it wasn't RSV, just a cold.  Some steroidal cough syrup and Mommy time were all that was needed.  His croup-y cough cleared up and the breathing improved.  We were on our way to "better."  Still coughing a bit here are there, but improving.


Fast forward to New Year's Eve.  The croup cough and the stridor were back.  Darnit!  Twice in three weeks?! Again, we didn't freak out.  We knew the drill.  Humidifier, steam and cool mist - repeat.  A call to the advice nurse even had me giving him a breathing treatment with the stuff we had leftover from RSV in February.  But I still didn't like the fact that it was back so soon.  While they weren't severe, any time you can really hear your child breathing is not fun.  I haven't slept much lately because the monitor is turned all the way up and I lie awake just listening to him breathe (see - new mom stuff, right?)


Now to the doctor's appointment this morning.  Ears are clear, lungs are clear (thank goodness) but the wheezing and the cough are ever apparent.  She didn't like it (thank goodness, not just crazy, overly concerned Mom.)  So we started talking about treatment options.  Twice in three weeks signified a problem.  Kids get colds - no big deal.  (Well, up until now, I didn't think my kids did, but...I now know differently.)  But kids who get colds and can't shake them, or kids who have them rear up again so shortly after, means that they're not battling them well enough.  Something is making them linger.  And in Andrew's case we think that thing may be asthma.   


Ugh, asthma?  My kids don't have asthma.  I don't have it.  Steve doesn't have it.  There is no history of it in our family.


The doc and I talked about this.  It's not an actual diagnosis.  He's a little young for that.  But it does answer some of these questions.  While he doesn't have any of the other triggers for it (he was not premature, he's big and healthy, was breastfed, no one smokes, etc.) he did have that nasty bout of RSV.  That could have been the thing that opened him up to this nasty stuff.


So, now we just put our action plan in place.  I have a little mask for his breathing treatments.  Because he's not super sick, we'll just do the inhaled steroid and rescue medication twice a day for now.  It will help him quit wheezing (we did it on the office today and there was a huge improvement) and will help the cough go away.  And then...when he comes down with a cold again (because I'm learning, that unlike his sister, he's going to be more susceptible to this stuff) we'll immediately start the breathing treatments so that we can head the nasty stuff off at the pass.


We'll also watch it.  He's little, so we don't know what all his triggers may or may not be.  Will he now have problems with allergies - triggering the asthma?  Will he have problems in the warm, dry months?  Will it just be around cold and flu season and snotty little kids are all over the place?  Who knows?


You may feel as though I'm overreacting, but this is a big deal to me.  As I have mentioned over and over again.  I wasn't a sick child, I don't have sick children.  But now, I just have one that has a few breathing problems when he gets a cold.  Scary and intimidating, but this Momma's all over it.  He's my Little Man and its my job to make sure that he grows up big and strong.  So what if every now and then he wears a mask that's shaped like a fish?  He's adorable no matter what and I'll make sure I'm doing everything I can to help him feel better.


So...do any of your kids suffer from this kind of stuff?  How do you manage to keep them well and keep their symptoms managed?  Will he grow out of it?  Will it get worse?  What should I expect?  Am I really overreacting?


Thanks for the help (and for listening).


~Becky

Until it happens to you...

When your job gets moved to another state it’s hard not to take it personally.  A morning show that I listen to locally talks continuously about the fact that if your job goes away or you get laid off that there was something you could have done differently to prevent it.  In this case, the whole organization is getting moved around. They’re not decreasing headcount, just moving bodies from one place to another.  And just to be clear, I’m not being laid off, I’m being re-assigned.

That doesn’t make this suck any less. I like my job, I’m good at it. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy learning and improving upon my skill set. I’m going to be sad to watch it go away. I think the worst part about all this is having gone through the pain of a large merger, completely re-assigning and re-training my staff in, for some of them, new roles, to watch it all go away less than six months later.

It’s hard not to take it personally and stay away from the “every man for himself” attitude. I have a staff of eleven I have to worry about. The majority of them are getting re-assigned as well, but they are for sure not all going to be pleased about the assignment. Coaching and guiding them through this is really going to be tough for me.  The potential for tears just gives me the heebie-jeebies because I’m just not all that great with emotion in a work setting.

And at the same time I have to come to terms with my new offer.  Do I accept on the grounds that it’s a job and a paycheck?  Do I accept and immediately start floating around the resume? Do I take this opportunity to spend some time at home with my kids (we all know that that craziness wouldn’t last long)?  Maybe go back to school or embark on a whole new profession? Lots of questions and not so many answers.

I’m thankful that my new boss is a person I have worked for, and enjoyed working for, in the past albeit in an entirely different role.  Knowing that I was grabbed by a former manager makes me feel as though I am valued in this organization and that they are interested in my future. Whether this is B.S. or not remains to be seen.

And then I think about those people within this company (or even those who have gone through this anywhere) that were not offered a "comparable" position and think that I need to quit my bitching. Perspective...

So tonight, like every other night, I go home, hug my kids and my husband.  I count my blessings that I have a nice job that allows me to support my family and our lifestyle and know that whatever decision I make will be the right one because I will have thought it through. No job is forever and I am in charge of my own destiny.  I just have to figure out what that destiny is.

~Becky

Being a Mom - The Hard Stuff Part 1

Feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Work is pretty stressful right now. Doing some things I’ve never done before. They’re good things, just stuff I’m not so confident about. I know I’ll look back on this time and say “wow – I learned a heck of a lot” but for now I’m left feeling a little out of my element. More on that another time…

Allyson is pushing my buttons. She has a stubborn streak in her that tries my every ounce of patience. Granted, she’s a girl that definitely knows what she wants and I’m incredibly proud of that. But when it comes down to the “no’s” and “I don’t want to’s” I just want to explode. I’m sure this is just a phase that Mommy has to win, but in a family where spanking is not an option, I’m having to come up with new and creative ideas to win these battles. Shouting doesn’t work, timeouts rarely work…harrumph. We manage, but some nights it’s early to bed without dinner because the battle is just one I’m not willing to lose.

Those nights are the worst because my heart aches when she’s sad. When I finally get through that stubborn-ness and show her how disappointed or unhappy she makes me by acting out, I know that she finally got it. But when it actually does get through, those puppy dog eyes sad faces and tears just make me feel worse. It’s truly, and Mom and Dad – sorry I made you feel this way because I know I did, harder on me than it is on her.

What I am making extra effort in doing is doling out the hugs and kisses. I try to devote a little extra time to her in the evenings, especially when Andrew goes to bed. I’ll go lay with her and watch one of her shows or, as was the case last night, cuddle with her on the couch while watching The Sing Off and Dancing with the Stars.

Those are the best times because there is no battle. There’s no yelling, there’s no punishment. Just me and my girl. Cuddled up under the blanket. I only hope that as we get through this phase – or whatever it is –that there’s more of this and less of the other stuff. These are the years where she’s really starting to form life long memories and I really (really really) want them to be good ones.

~Becky

Milestones

Dear Andrew Lane,

Today you are one.  I am thrilled and glum at the same time.  You are my last baby and becoming a baby no more.  You walk, you talk (sort of), you feed yourself, you sleep through the night (and have since two months old), you are your own little man.  You hold your own against your big sister – very important.  You melt my heart when you smile and say “Momma.”  You have four adorable little teeth and are working on four more.  You’re growing a full head of beautiful auburn colored hair – although you’re entering that “looks like old man hair” stage.  You have completed our family in a way that is indescribable.  You are the perfect counter to your crazy big sister.  You are easy going, happy all the time, generous with the smiles and the perfect cuddl-er when you’re in the mood.  Andrew – you have no idea what kind of a sap you have made your mother.  Just writing this brings tears to my eyes.  When you get older you’ll know how big of a deal that is.

Today I have to say good-bye to my infant and hello to my toddler.  If I could bottle your little one year old self, I’d hang on to it.  But not for forever.  As much as it kills me to watch you get bigger, I can’t hardly wait to see the little person (and then big person) you get to become.

Today we celebrate 365 days of “Andrew”.  The world is a better place because you are here.  My world is better because you are in it.  

Tonight, I’ll tuck you in your bed; give you your favorite lovey and your blanket.  I’ll kiss your head and sing you a song.  And then I’ll go to bed remembering this letter because the terrible twos will be quickly upon us and I need to remember this feeling when you start to drive me crazy.  

Happy Birthday Andrew Lane.  Your Mommy loves you – to the moon and back.

~Becky

Everything's funny, but this...

I don't typically comment on the political stuff.  Maybe it was the family in which I was raised.  (My parents NEVER told us who they voted for.  Said it was "none of your business.")  I'm not a big right-winger, or even very left-leaning.  I vote because it's the "right thing to do".  But every now and then, something happens that keeps me up all night.  Last night was one of those nights.

Last night a man was executed.  Actually, two men were executed yesterday, but one amidst all sorts of press.  Now, while I won't even pretend to understand the facts of either case, the deepest part of my being feels that execution is just wrong.  It doesn't really matter to me that witnesses recanted their testimony.  That the prosecution feels that "it was a solid win."  That there is new DNA evidence.  Doesn't matter. 

Do I think that some people deserve to die for the crimes they commit?  Ab-so-freakin'-lutely.  Do I think that some crimes that are not even eligible for the death penalty should be?  Oh yes.  But in my eyes, putting even one innocent person to death is too many.

Some may find that interesting. I'm not a very religious person.  It's not that I think God should be the one to decide when you meet your maker.  I have a degree in Criminal Justice for crying out loud. Some may not find that interesting, knowing what I know about the justice system.  Either way - it's just who I am.

So, I didn't sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that an innocent man was killed in the name of justice.  I believe very strongly in the justice system - beyond a reasonable doubt is as good as it can get.  But potentially putting an innocent man to death to justify killing off all the cretins in the world is just too high a price for me. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

~Becky