I could blame it on any number of things but for the most part I blame myself. Steve keeps telling me to stop being so hard on myself. That I've given her the best and that I'm a good mom. Well that's all great but when you make a goal and then fall short - well...let me tell you...I feel like crap.
But there are a few contributing factors:
- I'm a full time working Mom. (Okay, I know there are lots of you out there, but you've got to be honest, everyone knows that a pump is no match for a baby. Your boobs just aren't getting the same...umm....suction.)
- I'm a full time working Mom. (I know this is the same as above, but I have another reason. Finding time out of a busy day is required by law - YES, but actually finding time in a busy schedule with six employees and a million e-mails to answer isn't so easy.)
- My daughter is weaning herself. (So this one is actually out of my control. My beautiful baby girl is go-go-go and wants nothing to do with nursing during the day. Breastfeeding is supply and demand - when we're home together Allyson wants to be independent - on the floor playing, crawling around the house, anywhere but stuck in boring old Mom's arms.)
So, I'll continue to spend the time with her every morning. We happily lay in bed together for a half hour nursing, smiling and saying good morning. I'll treasure this time I have with her while she's still my baby but I feel as though I have to let go of the rest. She needs formula for nutrition just like she needs my milk. So as long as she's healthy (and I know that she is) I should be happy.
At least I won't have to lug this freakin weapon of mass destuction around any longer (aka breast pump)...
~Becky
2 comments:
dude, do not get down on yourself. The fact that Allyson is weaning herself is like a dream come true!!! If she didn't have what she needed, she wouldn't be doing it! 9 months is WAY longer than most people do it. If she doesn't want it, you can't make it happen, you know? Plus, she's old enough now where you can do rice cereal and baby food too. You don't have to do the formula thing if you don't want to!
You're a great mom, becky and you should be SO PROUD that you were able to do that for 9 months. I can't say I know anyone else that did that!!!
L
Hey, Becky! Is this a new blog? I read this last night and woke up thinking about you because I hate that you're down on yourself for this! I don't have any mom advice to pass on, but I totally agree with Lindsay. Nine months of breastfeeding while you're working and otherwise living is no small accomplishment. Good luck with whatever you decide...
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